As parents, I think it’s par for the course for us to question if we’re doing the right things. You want to say the right things to guide our children, without overstepping or pushing them away. It’s hard to know if we are making the right choices for the young humans we are responsible for.
It’s hard to set aside our own feelings and desires and expectations and just hear what our kids are trying to tell us.
So when my almost 16-year-old asked me this month if she could write something, I was more than happy to oblige — eager to gain any insight into the teenage brain that she is willing to share.
If there’s one thing I can be extremely proud of as a mom, it’s that I am raising some very emotionally intelligent and insightful kids. Here are her thoughts.
By Leah Strickland
Teens are facing way more pressure than the typical adult might assume. School, social life, expectations and a world that just refuses to take a break: it’s no wonder so many teenagers feel so overwhelmed. That’s why self-care isn’t just a good idea, it’s a necessity. It’s not about phone-wrangling in bed or skin care (although yeah, sometimes it is). It’s about stepping back, looking at yourself and creating space to be alright with it all, even when the world is a mile a minute.
But when teenagers try to do just that, try to speak about how they feel, determine who they are, or simply take time for themselves, they’re insulted. They’re instructed to “be themselves,” but when they are, they’re labeled as “too emotional,” “too dramatic,” or “too much.” Adults beg for maturity and yet sometimes forget that growth comes from freedom, not fear. Adults should try to be more empathetic, looking back on how they wish they could have been treated as a teenager.
Self-expression is one of the most precious commodities teenagers have. It’s how they move through the world and their place in it. Clothing, music, writing, art, social media or expressing opinions is not about acting out, it’s about self discovery, overlapping with self-care. Autonomy to express emotions and ideas is a primary element of mental and emotional wellness.
Encouragement matters. Validation matters. Teenagers are most likely to become emotionally resilient, self-aware adults when they feel they’re being heard and validated.
