Editor’s Note: In celebration of our 10th year anniversary, Johnston Now Magazine will be featuring a series of “Where are they now?” articles that give updates about people we have written about throughout the years. An article titled “A long road to Mother’s Day” ran in our very first edition in May of 2015, and now we revisit the family 10 years later. To read that and other past articles in their entirety, visit johnstonnow.com where you can flip through archives of all of our past editions.
By Jamie Strickland
The road to parenthood may have been a bit nontraditional for Scotty and Gela Weaver, but the joy they’ve experienced while raising their kids throughout the years has been second to none.
Scotty, a lieutenant with the Raleigh Fire Department and Gela, an Exceptional Children’s Program Specialist at Johnston County Public Schools, knew right away that they wanted to have children.
After many attempts at starting their family, the couple ultimately used an egg donor to have their twins Amrynn and Mason.
Now 17 years old and soon to enter their final year of high school at South Johnston, JNOW first met them when they were just 7 as they played nearby while their parents told us all about their birth story.
That story has never been a secret, as their parents have been very open with them all along.
“I have always openly talked about it in front of them to others because I never wanted our experience or their genetic history to be a secret. At about age 10, I realized they weren’t catching on to my conversations so I finally sat them down to have a direct conversation with them,” Gela said.
“Years later, once the DNA banks became popular, I did talk with them about thinking long and hard before submitting their DNA because it could possibly open them up to situations they are not expecting,” she said, explaining that they may have biological half siblings from their donor. “I also made sure they knew that at the time our egg donor donated, DNA banks weren’t even a thought and that she was promised that she would be anonymous, so they needed to consider her feelings.”
Knowing about their egg donor never changed the way the twins felt about their family, according to Amrynn.
“I don’t think that knowing about the situation changes anything,” she said. When I found out about the pregnancy and about how my mother used an egg donor to have us, it made me feel so loved. Finding out that my parents put so much time and effort into having children, made me feel special and loved beyond compare. I think learning about this has made me more grateful for the love my parents have shown me.”
And love, they have.
“I have truly enjoyed parenthood,” Gela said. “Being able to find the humor in raising kids, especially in those moments when you want to lose your temper, is the best method to get through each stage. We have been blessed with two kids that are intrinsically motivated to reach their own goals.”
Those goals include continuing to play football while earning a business degree in college for Mason, and for Amrynn, exploring a course of study and future career that combines her love for children, exercise and helping others.
For Scotty, the years of raising children have passed by quickly and parenthood has been everything he hoped it would be.
“I’ve loved every second of it,” he said. “I think the only thing that has surprised me is the realization my kids are almost adults and how quick it has happened. I’m going to have a tough time with their next stage because it will take them away from home.”
To other couples who may be struggling with infertility the way the Weavers did, their message is simple: Support each other and don’t go through it alone.
“Take each month, each procedure and each hurdle together. You cannot take the journey alone, even if it is just one person that is having difficulties or fertility problems, no one should feel like it’s their fault or just their struggle,” Gela said.
Scotty shared the same sentiment. “Realize that your wife is going through so many feelings when she is struggling to have children and be there for her regardless of the outcome,” he said.
Ultimately, they want people to know that no matter how they arrive at parenthood, what matters most is the love, commitment and bond they have with their children.
“Even though it will be one of the biggest emotional roller coasters you will ever experience, the reward is worth the wait and all the tears,” Gela said. “Your worth as a wife or husband, woman or man and future parent is not less than because you are having to take a different route.
If you have to choose an alternative method to becoming parents — donor, adoption, surrogacy, etc. — you are no less of a parent.”
